Earlier today I spoke to a dear friend who had an Ah-Ha moment and really started putting pieces of the puzzle together in her life.
After I hung up, I rethought our conversation. I am so proud of her I could cry. It is so wonderful to see someone holding the keys to a possibly better and more fulfilling life.
And then, wouldn't you know it, on that thought I had an Ah-Ha moment of my own. I'm well aware of the fact that my picker is broken, so what I've done is set a list of requirements for any man who may enter my life...
1. Can't look, act or resemble Steve Spurrier in any way.
2. Must have good job or just be f-ing wealthy
3. Must be calm and peaceful = mature.
THEN I realized I'm fucking up all over AGAIN my friends. Not that the criteria is necessarily wrong, just that there should be NO criteria at all. Why? Because I am choosing to consider someone who would bore me to death. So why would I have this stupid ass list? I already have a check point in place to keep me from doing anything stupid.... I must date someone at LEAST two years before I decide if anything really serious is to be considered (marriage, engagement, moving in together, etc). That is my check system right there. Outside of that me.....I need to be fucking having FUNNNN!
Then I thought about the situation I'm facing currently. I haven't mentioned this situation, but I've thought a good deal about it this week. I've gone on a few dates with a guy from my high school. On paper he is as much of a disaster as I am. THEN I blended my two thought processes mentioned above.
1. I asked myself do I like spending time with this guy? My answer was an overwhelming YES.
2. I asked myself if I have fun hanging out with him and talking to him. YES.
3. I asked myself is he is good to me, does he treat me with respect. YES.
.......Today I realized I'm over thinking life and am missing out on making some great new friends and possibly even more with my ol' high school crush or anyone else for that matter who doesn't carry the label of CEO and is 60+ years of age (laugh)...
So, lets do this thing.
Definitely - Make this about you! Since I moved to Houston, I go out to dinner with this guy, that guy. Hell...it's fun to be with totally different personalities. Then I get this guy Steve that is planning all his visits around me when he is here. Steve has family in Houston. I tell him, I don't want a relationship. If we plan on dinner one night, fine. If it doesn't happen, Don't sweat it. Because I just want to enjoy the evening for what it is. Nothing more. That's why I enjoy going out with Jack and Ken. I enjoy their company, their conversations....I enjoy them. But, if we make plans and I can't make it. They don't get all bent, we just see each other when we both are available. Simple Simple Simple.
ReplyDeleteSo make this about you GG ;-)
I agree completely. I KNOW how to keep my distance. I know how to not get hurt. I have that ability but I was trying to limit the 'type' of man I would date UNTIL I asked why. And going out with this guy made me question why I'd cut him out of my life when I had a blast around him.
ReplyDeleteSometimes (usually) I put way too much pressure on myself. And way too many limits on myself. This guys may be Mr. Wrong in so many ways but he is Mr. Right (now)....
LMAO!
:-) Just enjoy the moments. HERE and NOW
DeleteThings have a way of working itself out. Don't put pressure on yourself. Sit there listen to the answering machine, texts. Click your fingers on the counter and say "hmmmm, do I feel like dinner and conversation with ??? or do I just want to be alone and watch TV (or whatever) at home. It's your choice :-) Just RELAX and ENJOY!