Glamour Girl - Signing Out

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ti-UWOTkRGA

I cannot think of a better way to sign out than this... (above link).... I've spent 5 years blogging things I may not tell my closest friends.  These honest moments were told to whoever.  My journey to is over and at this point in life I feel as if either I tell to much darkness or tell too much happiness and sound obnoxious.  I'm ready to let the blog go. 

Artsy

Photos take by Misch:

Photo through lens of binoculars:

Front Yard:

Self portrait:

Lips:

Coco's foot. The orange is 'Jesus' and the black is 'God'.  :)

So... you know all that men shit?....

Turns out I don't hate them afterall.... (men that is)....

And turns out that he.... (above - haven't come up with a nick-name yet)... told me today that (and I  sorta quote b/c he took me by shock via phone....) 'any woman he has ever met in his life doesn't even begin to hold a candle to me'  .....

Yall....  This man (above) has totally changed my life.  I've gone on dates this year, trust me I have, I've kinda been forced too.  I've had nothing better to do and on top of the nothing to do offers...  offers I really didn't even want.  Didn't see coming.... so I've gone on dates against my will kinda.  I've cried after most of them to be honest with you....Which is also why I insisted on spending my damn bday alone just to name one....

But him (above,)...  I actually cried in happiness after one date in particular with this man. 

So  I've been seeing him less than a month yet have known him since 7th grade.  My father forbid me to ever date him due to his reputation during my high school years, YET our last names kept us right next to each other.  Literally.   Meaning his last name and my maiden last name were letters apart. THEREFORE... our lockers were next to one another.  Homeroom - next to each other.  Classes with assigned seating - yep, next to each other.  He even asked me ....to my total surprise and shock.... to prom my Sr year.  I had to tell him NO for fear.  Fear....  first of all I would have had to broken up with my long term / first / only boyfriend to take the chance he too would have (two) broken up with Miss High School (literally)  and actually picked me up at the front door with my (three)  father swinging a golf club at his ass.  Bottom line I needed to stick with my first boyfriend and he needed to stick with Miss High School.  For safety. 

YET....  the bait was set even back then.  Still set in my mind...in some sort of way I didn't realize and never would have never understood without my ex -husband debacle.....   But anyway....  I knew he (nickname needed)  ...........................    wanted to find out more about me and I certainly want to find our more about him.

Beach Survival

Misch looking just like her daddy - lol.  And Mimi cut her hair.  Yep.  You heard me.  Bangs without my permission.  The new Glamour Girl let it go. 

One of my best friends was in the area.  Went to her 3500 square foot condo for the day.... 

The fridge was the size of a honda civic.  SERIOUSLY. 

Oh, and she brought her NANNY!  Whoop whoop! 

but my biggest question is this... WHAT. IN. THE. FUCK. IS. THIS.  (location was shower....)

Nanny taking care of my kids! 

Nanny laughing at our motherhood skills.... 

My Inner Peace

Earlier today I spoke to a dear friend who had an Ah-Ha moment and really started putting pieces of the puzzle together in her life.

After I hung up, I rethought our conversation. I am so proud of her I could cry.  It is so wonderful to see someone holding the keys to a possibly better and more fulfilling life. 

And then, wouldn't you know it, on that thought I had an Ah-Ha moment of my own.  I'm well aware of the fact that my picker is broken, so what I've done is set a list of requirements for any man who may enter my life...
1.  Can't look, act or resemble Steve Spurrier in any way.
2.  Must have good job or just be f-ing wealthy
3.  Must be calm and peaceful = mature.

THEN I realized I'm fucking up all over AGAIN my friends.  Not that the criteria is necessarily wrong, just that there should be NO criteria at all.  Why?  Because I am choosing to consider someone who would bore me to death.  So why would I have this stupid ass list? I already have a check point in place to keep me from doing anything stupid.... I must date someone at LEAST two years before I decide if anything really serious is to be considered  (marriage, engagement, moving in together, etc).  That is my check system right there.  Outside of that me.....I need to be fucking having FUNNNN! 

Then I thought about the situation I'm facing currently.  I haven't mentioned this situation, but I've thought a good deal about it this week.  I've gone on a few dates with a guy from my high school.  On paper he is as much of a disaster as I am.  THEN I blended my two thought processes mentioned above. 

1.  I asked myself do I like spending time with this guy?  My answer was an overwhelming YES. 
2.  I asked myself if I have fun hanging out with him and talking to him.  YES. 

3.  I asked myself is he is good to me, does he treat me with respect.  YES. 

.......Today I realized I'm over thinking life and am missing out on making some great new friends and possibly even more with my ol' high school crush or anyone else for that matter who doesn't carry the label of CEO and is 60+ years of age (laugh)... 

So, lets do this thing. 

HOLY SHIT.  MY ENTIRE GOAL OF MY LIFE WAS TO BECOME 'MOTHER OF THE YEAR'.  I JUST OUTKICKED MY COVERAGE..... 

Pressure!!!!!!!!

Mother Fucking PRESSURE!!!!

THIS song has been playing in my mind. I'll wake at night hearing the tune and trying to remember what it was.  I'll have flashes of the video which I haven't seen since childhood.  Very similar to the way Overkill hit my life 3 years ago...this song now takes over. 

Psych one - divorce
Psych two - divorce
So many similarities to how I feel right now not only throughout the song but the video!  And actually this video is how I dream at night.  Rarely do the dreams make total sense but they are always action packed and dramatic...

Welcome to my new song.  I actually enjoy it...it pumps me up like LLCoolJ.  All my life has indeed been Channel 13 and Sesame Street after all.....